As children, we learn messages about how the world works, who we are, and how to survive. These messages come from our families, our teachers, the media, and our peers, and they help us “organize” our life experiences. While these messages are often well-meaning and not consciously meant to cause us harm, they do not necessarily serve us as adults. Some of the messages we might have learned include:
--you have to be “good” to be loved --don’t take up too much space --don’t get too emotional -- cover up your emotions with a distraction (alcohol, food, busyness, shopping, etc) --don’t show your love or enthusiasm fully, or you’ll pay --the world is not safe --men/women can’t be trusted --your sexuality is dirty/bad/dangerous --success is dangerous or out of reach for you --money is bad/evil/out of reach for you --it’s not okay to ask for what you want --it’s not okay to say “no”, or “I don’t know”, or “why?”
In therapy, one of the main tasks is to help you identify and “differentiate” from these messages. To differentiate is to grow past the messages that have been blindly handed down to you, so you can adopt more realistic and empowering messages that you choose to live your life by.
Often, until we identify exactly what unconscious beliefs we’ve carried with us since a young age—beliefs that continue to shape our view of the world—we can’t grow into the strong, confident, trusting people we want to be.
I’d like to help you identify the messages that have shaped your life and may still be limiting you. Together, we can challenge these beliefs and look for more adaptive beliefs and actions that help you live a more worthwhile and self-directed life.
I believe that everyone has the innate ability to recover from habits, addictions, relationship patterns, and core beliefs that no longer serve them. As humans, we are not islands; we are deeply affected by our physical health, environment, families, workplaces, culture, and society. Often, changing our old beliefs is the best way to affect change in these larger systems. We can work together to help you create your life in a more compassionate, empowered, and healthy way--not only for you, but for all the "systems" you live within.
My work is tailored to what we identify as most helpful for you, which may include mindfulness-based, somatic, psychodynamic, and motivational approaches. I look forward to learning how you and I can best work together to meet your goals. Call Waking Heart Therapy, LLC at 303.551.3923 for a free phone consult, or visit Contact to schedule an appointment for psychotherapy and counseling services in Boulder, Colorado.